I was raped last night, raped by micheal bay.

I was so looking forward to transformers 2, I loved the first one, and I was prepared for the new one to be not as good but at least longer, louder and bit more mindless maybe, but my god, the only thing I can think of comparing it to is 'Big Momma's House' with robots, or watching a video of your parents having sex.

The Humor is base level at best, embarrassing the rest of the time, aimed at a very particular mindset of people. very very particular.

the special effects are surprisingly bad compared to the first one, the transformers themselves are either poorly designed or designated to hiding behind smoke and trees for there meagre two minute appearence. And forget about seeing them transform, that takes place behind convienantly placed screen/trees/pillars that the camera happens to be panning round.

Now the transformers act like people, one has an english accent and a walking stick, two twin robots have such an irratating on screen presence that even the other characters ignore them, there is a german 'doctor' robot. The list goes on. remember the trailer which showed the two massive decepticons? thats literally all you see of them.

the human characters have multiplied in both abundance and annoyance, consigned to muttering one liners and running round with their pants round their ankles (literally).

The list goes on, and I haven't even covered the plot. I think it's the only film I've ever considered walking out from. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad because it's a different take on the transformers universe, it's bad because it's trying to second guess it's expectations. Now excuse me while I weep into my hands for the next week or so.